Assumption Junction

I do so love it (NOT) when two things happen:

1. Assumptions are made about the meaning of something minor if it's not clear and actions are taken based on that.

And I really hate when:

2. Someone also assumes I am either in the know and/or feel the same as someone else about a particular situation and takes actions against me based on that, when I don't even know what's going on.

But, hey, it's your life. Live in your little uninformed reality and don't bother to ask about something before pushing the button. Whatever.

Independence, Assumptions, Friendship, and So Forth

soaring_phoenix and I show a lot of ePDAs here on LJ. We try not to be too saccharine with our language here, but we've made it obvious to anyone who reads either or both journals that we love each other and have a deep commitment and a very strong relationship built on a number of things. But it appears that some who may not know us too well, or who make assumptions easily, may think we're joined at the hip. I don't know what else we could do to prove that is not the case. We have several different interests. We have different friends. We travel separately more than any other married couple I know. We make relationships with others independently. Yeah, point to both breakups with other partners that we shared in the past couple of years and we broke up with them at the same time and for the same (major) reasons (there were plenty of minor reasons that differed, though). I'm not going into the details or rehash history here, but if anyone thinks I was pressured or coerced into either starting or ending those relationships, think again. In response I'd ask if you would have done differently given all the data I have.

So it really irks me when someone thinks of Toni and I as a unit with regard to making friends, getting together, etc. You want to invite us for a visit because you get along with and like both of us, fine. If you want to be friends with only one of us, that's also fine. Our life is not "Give Me the Brain!" Nothing irritates me more than someone who thinks I have only (or worse, assuming I would have) done, thought, or said something just because Toni has or that person thinks she would. Yes, I'm quieter, both in real life and on LJ. Don't assume I don't have a brain of my own.